Most are serious, a few are lighthearted. All touch on potentially sensitive areas. Over time, your team may feel comfortable enough to ask these questions. In the early days though, if you don’t answer these questions, they will not ask. Therefore, it is up to you to answer these questions, even when not asked, if you don’t want to leave them guessing…

15 Questions Employees Will Not Ask… But You Should Still Answer

1. What are your priorities in life?

You are human and so are your employees. They want to know if you are a person of faith or not. Do you put family first or are you completely devoted to the job?

2. How should employees disagree with you?

Are you offended by public dissent or do you encourage diverse perspectives? Some leaders prefer the appearance of a completely unified front and ask that opposition be confidential.

3. By the book or write or a new script?

Do you insist on policy and procedural adherence or do you like people to find the solutions that work best for them?

4. Do you want feedback or obedience?

Are you interested in the perspectives your team members have on your performance or would you rather only receive feedback through formal channels like a 360 feedback system?

5. Is it okay to cheer for the other team?

Honestly, some people are obsessive about professional sports. Are you one who can’t stand people that cheer your sworn enemy?

6. What hours / days are off limits?

Is it the moment you leave the office, after 10 PM or when you finally go to sleep at 4 AM?

7. What will get me fired?

Your people have obligations and families to support. Often, new leadership means other personnel changes. They all want to know what it is that will cost them their job.

8. What will get me promoted?

With personnel changes, there may be vacancies. Many see these opportunities and want to take advantage. What will get someone promoted quickly?

9. What is your greatest fear (professionally)?

As the new leader, you will be perceived as somewhat invincible – at least that’s what the hiring team may think. Show your vulnerability and humility – at least a little.

10. How much is too much?

Communications, humor before the meeting, socializing in general, issue escalations – whatever. We all have our limits and preferred volumes. What is yours?

11. How do you feel about family at the office?

Tony Dungy always encourages family at the workplace – he even had video games and toys at his office for his own kids. Do you support a kid-friendly workplace?

12. Why did you really take this job?

Sure, there’s the reason most claim, but what is the reality? Did you need the money, want a notch in your resume, the prestige of the title or do you want to kick the  competition’s butt?

13. Why did you really leave your last job?

Again, everyone has the politically correct answer. Consider sharing the blunt reality to make yourself more human. Was your last boss a jerk?

14. If money was not a factor, what would you do every day?

Would you live on a beach or the mountains? Still work in for-profit or find something more altruistic?

15. Star Wars or Star Trek?

Maybe not everyone wonders this, but I recently read that ThinkGeek,com asks this interview question and I think it’s a great one to answer for your team.

Whether you are new to a leadership role and organization or not, these are questions your team may be thinking. Why not give the answer before they ask? You can create an “About Me” slide or Frequently Asked Questions list. The team will appreciate knowing more about you and revealing candid answers like this will make you more human and humble – approachable.

Question: What other questions do you think team members or followers consider of leaders?

The sport of Curling makes an excellent analogy for servant leadership. In this sport, each player must lead in a way, but the Sweeper is like the servant leader. The Skip sets a stone in motion toward a target. As the stone slides along the ice, the Skip then  calls directions to the Sweepers. Sweepers respond by sweeping the ice ahead of the stone more, or less, according the direction of the Skip. The sweeping motion, veracity and direction influence the path of the stone. On the stone’s path to it’s objective there may be obstacles (opposing stones). These factors as well as the overall distance, curl of the stone and other conditions must be accounted for. As a result, there is much shouting back-and-forth between Sweepers and Skips. The Sweepers explain what they see and the Skip provides direction. Communication is critical to success.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” – Max DePree

In leadership, the factors are similar. A leader must count on the team to set their stones in motion, aimed at specific objectives or targets. Once put into motion though, it is the job of the leader to clear any obstacles. If the Skip or team were able to remove the obstacles, they would. However, when not possible, the leaders must be listening to the team for guidance. Where do they need help? Where must the trajectory of the stone be altered to account for obstacles? In return, the team has the accountability and responsibility to ensure the leader is aware of approaching issues.

Toxic Leadership Perspective

Toxic leaders have a narcissistic need to feel powerful and in control. Therefore, from the toxic leader perspective:

The Skip: Represents the leader, shouting order to the sweepers.

The Sweepers: Reflect the team, receiving direction from the leader on all matters.

Servant Leadership Perspective

In contrast to the toxic leader, the servant leader may alter directions for the project, but seeks to serve the team in accomplishing the organization’s goals. Therefore, from a servant leader perspective:

The Skip: Represents your team.

The Sweeper: Reflects your role of clearing the path for the stones, directed by your team, the Skip.

The Broom: Is your tool for clearing the path for the project. This could be you, other teams you guide to solve a problem or any other tool removing obstacles.

The Stone: Is the project, service or product your team is working on getting to the target or objective.

As a leader, you need to serve the organization. Don’t be fooled into thinking you must shout orders to everyone. Instead, be open to receiving direction from the team. Much like the Skip, the team likely has the best perspective on where your efforts are headed and how to hit the target.

Question: What is your favorite sport analogy to leadership?

Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip. – Richard Steele

Gossip is toxic fuel to a bad corporate culture. I was reminded of this last week when a subscriber asked for tips on dealing with gossip. She writes:

I feel surrounded by “toxic” co-workers that…  like to talk bad about all other leaders. Hearing them involved in all the office gossip and trash talking with their assumptions about these people make me nervous… I feel as though they will trash talk me…. How do I deflect and stay focused?

Gossip is defined as ”Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.” So not all gossip is bad. The problem is that most gossip consists of unflattering rumors. Unflattering and unsubstantiated rumors are the gossip that will  kill your culture.

Help the Gossip Target

Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed. – Erica Jong

Most gossip has some aspect of truth to it. If not truth, then perception. As many say, perception is reality until dis-proven. Therefore, you have an opportunity to serve the organization by dispelling the gossip through support of the targeted individuals.

1. Encourage Consistent & Transparent Communication

When someone is targeted by gossip, there is a good chance the rumors circulate around false motives. Encourages targets of gossip to produce more communication with an emphasis on transparency.

2. Highlight Areas Lacking Support

Without revealing names or specific gossip, let the leader know general areas within which they should build more support.

3. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

It may seem cliche, but if you were the target of gossip, what would you want to know?

By no means should you become a “tattle tail”. However, some careful communications and support of your leadership can help squash bad gossip and improve your culture.

Help the Gossiper

Gossipers often seek attention. Don’t give attention for gossip and you will soon find less gossip in your office. That said, here are some tips to help others break this bad habit:

1. Do Not Act Judgmental

Be careful not to alienate the gossiper by seeming self-righteous. After all, we have our own weaknesses and likely engage in our own gossip on occasions. Therefore, when asked, ”What did you hear?” or otherwise encouraged to gossip yourself, consider responses such as:

“Nothing I can confirm.”

“I’m waiting for them to give an update on that issue.”

2. Stick to the Facts…

The best way to counter gossip, is with facts. You could even have an interest in the notion of the gossip, but respond with, “I’d love to know the facts behind that… have you seen any data on the topic yet?”

3. Change the Topic

When all else fails and you are not comfortable confronting the gossiper head on, defer by changing the topic.

Gossip can be very destructive. Allowed to run unchecked, it will hurt your culture, waste resources and damage leadership credibility. With some careful resistance to gossipers and support of leadership, you can reinforce a more positive culture.

Question: How do you deal with gossip at your office?

Anyone can practice leadership or sports, but not everyone will succeed. Not everyone has the same capacity for sports or leadership. In his book, 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell calls this the Law of the Lid:

“The Lid represents the limit of our leadership abilities. Hard work, efficient management, and knowledge can only bring us so far.”

Here are 7 ways that leadership and sports are alike:

1. You can know what greatness looks like, without being great

Armchair quarterbacks know that Joe Namath, Warren Moon and Tom Brady are all amazing NFL quarterbacks. However, chances are the fans cannot throw a 40 yard touchdown strike. In the same manner, we can observe great leaders without being able to effect the same results.

2. It takes a ton of practice to be good, let alone great

In his book “Outliers“, Malcom Gladwell referenced studies that showed the greatest performers in a given field were not naturally gifted, but practiced endlessly. Over and over again, the studies showed a theme of at least 10,000 hours to be a remarkable success:

The thing that distinguishes one performer from another is how hard he or she works. That’s it. And what’s more, the people at the very top don’t work just harder or even much harder than everyone else. They work much, much harder.

Sports and leadership are no exception. If you want to be great at either, start logging hours of practice.

3. There are many variations, with consistent themes

From tennis to hockey, basketball to boxing there are many different types of sports. Yet all sports have share some basic principles like practice, dedication, concentration, physical ability and more. Similarly, leadership styles vary broadly from person to person. Still, great leaders all have some things in common: they serve first, they influence rather than control and they focus on the people.

4. The best performers are not in it for the money

In every sport, there are individuals who traded passion for the game in for greed. In most cases, that performer ends up fading into obscurity. Leaders run the same risk. The greatest examples are leaders who focus solely on fiscal profits rather than addressing social impacts. We don’t have to all be saints, but too often leaders miss the opportunity to serve all stakeholders by focusing solely on shareholders.

5. Selfishness can end your career

Even in individual sports, a focus on yourself at the exclusion of all others can hurt your career. Selfishness is frowned upon. This is even more critical for leaders. To be successful as a leader, you must serve first.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. – Luke 12:48

6. To achieve greatness, you must fall a few times

What sport can you practice and succeed at without falling a few times? There will be bumps and bruises. In fact, few will succeed without a couple significant injuries. For leadership, it is the same. Falling is a necessary lesson in professional development for leaders. A person who has not fallen a few times can not be a great leader.

7. It is always a team effort

No sport is completely an individual effort. There is always the coach, the family support system and the fans who enable the performer. Leadership is the same. You can not succeed as a leader without mentors, family and followers. Leadership and sports are both, always, team efforts.

Sports make great analogies in life because everyone can relate. Leadership is no exception. From extensive practice, to team effort and everything in between, leadership and sports have a lot in common. So put on your equipment, practice hard and remember, whether it is a ball or people, serve first.

Question: What other similarities do you see between sports and leadership?

I ride a motorcycle. As a biker, I understand the concept of “look where you want the bike to go”. Because your body movements influence the direction of a motorcycle, it is important to be aware of your posture so you do not lead the vehicle astray. The same can be said in leadership. If you focus your gaze on the negative alone, you will lead your stakeholders there. The key in both motorcycle riding and leadership is to constantly scan for hazards, but not lock your gaze on a single risk.

Near Miss Example – on the Bike

While riding with a more experienced biker, I tried to keep up. In unfamiliar terrain, I watched as my companion raced nearly out of sight. In an attempt to catch up, I found myself taking a turn too fast. The cement lane divider approached rapidly as my bike drifted closer from centrifugal forced. In fear for my life, my gaze locked on the divider and I came closer and closer to the divider. Fortunately, I realized my attention was not on where I wanted the bike to go or how to right the situation. This realization came just in time. I recall being within inches of the divider before safely emerging from the bend.

Near Miss Example – in Business

While working for a particularly challenging manager, I found myself frustrated by an inability to please the boss. Sleepless nights were spent worrying about my future and what I could do to turn things around. Until a conversation with my mentor changed my perspective. He simply said to me, “so what are you going to do about it?” Seems obvious, I know. But in the moment, I had tunnel vision on the bad. I was staying in the depression of the situation rather than seeking the path out. From then, I set myself to look at where I wanted to go: success and new leadership. I re-framed my perspective of success – what I was proud of and what I felt brought glory to God. I also set about on a job search for an organization in which I could bring greater value. Ultimately, I think I emerged from that bend within inches of the divider as well.

So where is your gaze focused? Are you locked onto the negative you fear or are you scanning the horizon for possibilities? Wherever you look – that is where you will lead the organization. Keep looking for negatives to avoid and positives to steer toward.

Question: What was your near miss that you avoided by looking elsewhere?

I only spoke with Joe Paterno for about 5 minutes. Yet, his influence on me and my perspectives of leadership was immense. Unfortunately, near the end of his life, tragic events that occurred under his leadership challenged his perfect record of character. So when he passed away, I wanted to remember him for his greatness. “JoePa”, as his is affectionately known by his Nittany Lion family, was the greatest coach in NCAA football. He taught me the best of what it means to be a man of character, a Nittany Lion and a leader.

Joe Paterno Quotes

The name on the front of the jersey is what really matters, not the name on the back. | Share on Twitter

When a team outgrows individual performance and learns team confidence, excellence becomes a reality. | Share on Twitter

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won’t taste good. | Share on Twitter

You need to play with supreme confidence, or else you’ll lose again, and then losing becomes a habit. | Share on Twitter

Publicity is like poison; it doesn’t hurt unless you swallow it. | Share on Twitter

The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital. | Share on Twitter

You guys can pick on me all you want … I don’t give a darn what you guys think, to be honest with you. | Share on Twitter

The minute you think you’ve got it made, disaster is just around the corner. | Share on Twitter

Besides pride, loyalty, discipline, heart, and mind, confidence is the key to all the locks. | Share on Twitter

To be honest, the media has not been a factor in my lifestyle or my coaching interest or how I motivate. | Share on Twitter

You have to perform at a consistently higher level than others. That’s the mark of a true professional. | Share on Twitter

Losing a game is heartbreaking. Losing your sense of excellence or worth is a tragedy. | Share on Twitter

People say to me, ‘Why don’t you give it up?’ … I don’t want to miss anything. | Share on Twitter

I want you kids to know how much we appreciate you. Have fun and behave. | Share on Twitter

Believe deep down in your heart that you’re destined to do great things. | Share on Twitter

If I had to do it over again, I’d probably play the game the same way. | Share on Twitter

Thank you, Joe, I will miss you…

Yesterday, our youngest son (2 month old Gabriel) had a “blow out”. You parents know what I mean and the rest can probably figure it out from the title. It was a mess. By the way, if you’re eating while you read this, you may want to come back later….

Getting Your Hands Dirty

The Martin Luther King Family

While scrubbing the dirty onesie, I found myself contemplating a key business decision. Looking down at my hands, covered in soap suds and… well… baby poop, I had to chuckle. I wondered how many times famous father-leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill and others had to clean soiled baby clothes? This experience, it occurred to me, was a very humbling activity.

Humility and Priorities

Following someone who has cleaned messy diapers tells you something about that leader. It goes beyond the old saying, “they put their pants on the same way we do – one leg at a time”.  This shows their humility and priorities. It shows that the multi-million dollar deal they’re negotiating or the global team they lead is important, but at the end of the day, they’re not afraid to get their hands dirty – really dirty – for what is important.

To the world you might be just one person, but to one person you might be the world. (unknown)

Identifying the Poop Cleaners

Convinced that leaders who clean the poop from their kids’ diapers may be the kind of leader you want to follow? Here’s how you can identify some of them:

1. Family Calls: Leaders who prioritize family are not afraid to take calls from them during the day. If the individual steps out of meetings to take a family call, chances are, they’ve cleaned the poop.

2. Firm Departure Times: A friend and colleague of mine leaves every day at 5 PM, firm. Now, certainly, in the time of a crisis, you must be able to count on the leader, but as a general policy, poop cleaners often have scheduled departure times.

3. Family Appointments: The poop-cleaner often needs to schedule meetings around doctor and dentist appointments, school meetings and student activities. This is especially true if the individual comes from a household where both parents work outside of the home.

So the next time you see these activities from someone at the office, do not be concerned. Chances are that person is a poop cleaner. And, after all, cleaning baby poop helps make great leaders.

Question: What about you? Do you clean baby poop or follow someone who does?

Is your stopper really an opportunity in disguise? People love to throw artificial roadblocks or “stoppers” up. Resistance to change though, is not how one leads. Instead, one displays leadership by turning a stopper into a stopportunity, here’s how.

You Can Change a Stopper Into an Opportunity

What is a Stopportunity?

Stopportunities are objections that stem from poor reasoning. These objections have typically been around a long time without being challenged. They proliferate the status quo without good reason or a business case. As a result, these potential stoppers are actually opportunities in disguise. Hence the term, “Stopportunity” – opportunities masquerading as stoppers.

A Stopportunity Example

Years ago, while I worked for a chemical company, there was a business request to automate creation of certification letters. The highly customized nature of these letters and the fact that nobody had an automated solution, led most technical architects in the company to say it could not be done. However, one eCommerce architect decided to lay this out as a challenge to an aspiring, young developer.

Within a couple of weeks, that young developer had a working prototype. The solution was considered extremely cutting edge and was among the first examples to meet federal requirements with digital signatures.

The final solution received special recognition from the Food and Drug Administration. That recognition spurred interest from new customers. The CEO gave special recognition to the team, the architect and the developer. Everyone engaged in creating that application went on to develop more great solutions for the company. And, to this day, that developer is very appreciative to the architect for his support and belief in his abilities.

How to Identify a Stopportunity

Any roadblock you encounter has the potential to become a stopportunity. However, here are the tell-tale signs of the most obvious stopportunities:

1. “We’ve never done it that way before”

This is the flashing neon sign of stopportunity. If someone objects to an idea simply because “we’ve never done it that way” you may have struck gold. I’ve seen that excuse thrown up several times in my career and on all occasions, there was no good reason not to do it like that.

2. “So-and-so won’t like that” (a.k.a. Politics)

I am not a fan of politics in business. However, they are a reality in many (yes, many – not all) organizations. When an objection rests in the perception that somebody else may not like your idea, remember it is just that – perception. It is not fact. Meet the person and listen to their concerns. More often than not, the individual is open to persuasion, once you are able to address their concerns.

3. Lack of Facts

Did you notice the first two scenarios lacked a business case or facts supporting the challenge? Whenever someone presents a stopper to you without fiscal reason or sound facts to the contrary, you may have a stopportunity.

4. Emotion

As I wrote in Frustration as a Warning Sign for Leaders, emotional responses signify warnings to leaders. If an objector seems emotional rather than passionate, consider the reason behind their emotion. Their logic may not be rational and you have a stopportunity.

So the next time you hear an objection, don’t turn around and give up. Instead, consider the root-cause of the blocker. If there are insufficient facts, too much emotion or a political angle, approach the objection as a Stopportunity and turn it into a success story of your own.

Question: What stopportunity do you have before you now? What Stopper did you turn into an opportunity in the past?

People who seek prestige through leadership roles or titles cause trouble and hardship for stakeholders. These individuals, expecting recognition, fame or fortune, fall flat when they awaken to the true demands of a leader.

“With great power, comes great responsibility.” -Ben Parker (paraphrasing others)

Therefore, please, I beg of you, if you’re out to “lead” for the supposed prestige, don’t do it. Chances are there is someone more appropriate who will actually serve the stakeholders.

The Problem With Prestige Seekers

“Wait,” you say, “I’m not only in it for the prestige, I am really willing to work hard!”

Save it. I’ve heard it all before, as have most people reading this post. News flash for you: we see through you, probably better than you see through yourself.You see, we have no doubt that you’ve fooled yourself into believing you’re out for the good of others. However, if the prestige you believe you will receive from a title or role attracts you, even slightly, you’re deluding yourself.

Self Sacrifice

If you want prestige, you don’t really know what it means to be a true leader. Being a leader means self-sacrifice. Some leadership roles demand more sacrifice than others, but all require some, if they are to be done well. Whether it is the time you commit to the cause, travel away from loved ones, sleepless nights or other forms of sacrifice, the point is, all good leaders give up something.

Listening

Prestige seekers like to talk. Whether it is to the press, an audience or a group of employees. The prestige seeker desires the attention of others. In contrast, good leadership means listening to others. Spending a great deal of time hearing what others have to say and understanding the complexity of their challenges.

Humility

If you want any form or prestige, you likely assume a sense of entitlement. Whether it’s the prime parking spot at the office, a ridiculous compensation package that dwarfs the average employee’s or better airline seats. The prestigious wannabe believes they’ve earned it. In reality, great leadership means aligning with the needs and experiences of the average stakeholder. This includes experiencing that which a typical employee, customer or partner must go through on a daily basis. Hiding in ivory towers is not leadership.

Service, Not Prestige

Robert Greenleaf was fond of pointing out that servant leaders are individuals who seek to serve, first and then, upon considering the best ways to serve, choose leadership (paraphrased). This is leadership: service to – not from – stakeholders. Prestige has nothing to do with leadership and leadership has nothing to do with prestige.

So please, if you seek prestige, don’t try and lead. Odds are you will falter and fail when you discover that leadership is not as prestigious as you expected.

Question: What does leadership mean to you?

The Holocaust and the financial crisis of 2008 had something in common: they both lacked sufficient good leaders, willing to resist the status quo.

“All that is necessary for evil to win is for good men to do nothing.” -Edmund Burke (paraphrase)

This thought occurred to me after watching two documentaries this past weekend, one on each event. In each example, there were men and women standing up for what was right. Ultimately though, each occurred, at least in part, because too many people accepted popular belief and failed to resist what they knew was wrong. Undoubtedly, there were thousands more people, with the potential to influence better outcomes, that did not listen to that still small voice and risk resistance.

The Holocaust

Hitler certainly had his opponents, long before the Allies. However, there was not enough within the German government to adequately influence the country. Hitler and the Nazi’s were allowed to come to power, in part because they did not face sufficient opposition from good leaders early in the developments of the Holocaust. If more servant leaders like Dietrich Boenhoffer and other martyrs, stepped up sooner, perhaps atrocities could have been avoided.

The 2008 Financial Crisis

The financial collapse of 2008 came from a series of events that could have been prevented. If the few whistle-blowers were supported by more good leaders, the meltdown may have been avoided. Unfortunately, within Enron, Lehman Brothers, Countrywide Financial, Merrill Lynch, Moody’s, Standard & Poor’s and other financial industry organizations there was insufficient servant leadership to resist the trend. Too many people were making too much money – everyone wanted in for their individual benefit. The few good leaders that did try to blow their whistle were ignored, perceived as paranoid and in some cases, even fired. Risk taking became easier and easier. Trade-offs were made for short-term wins at the cost of greater long-term risks. As a result, fewer leaders, aware of the issue, spoke against the imbalance.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting these events were equal. The 2008 financial sector executives were no Adolf Hitler. However, it has been argued that those executives repeatedly ignored warnings out of their own self-interest. There simply were not enough good leaders resisting the status quo to avoid either Nazi atrocities or the financial crisis. The ego, greed and self interest of leaders were sufficient for them to not resist popular belief.

The Lesson for Servant Leaders

The lesson for leaders is simple: just because everyone else is doing it, does not make it okay. Yes, that sounds like something your mother taught you. This does not negate its importance. In business it is too easy to go with the flow – especially when business is good. Question everything. Is your model sound? Is the success sustainable? Are there naysayers or other warning signs? If something seems wrong, you must be willing to stand up for what is right – regardless of the implications to you and your career. Listen to that small voice of doubt. Serving your stakeholders often means self-sacrifice, even especially when times are good.

…unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything. -Peter Marshall

Question: What status quo do you need to challenge today?

You’re laying in your deathbed. As you think about family and friends, those you’ve loved and lost, another thought creeps up – it’s about your career and the leadership your portrayed. As you think about this, you are:

A. Happy and content
B. Sad and full of regret

Well, which is it? What will you think of yourself and the leadership you portrayed, as you lay on your deathbed? You will be proud of how you helped others build themselves and their organizations? Or, will you regret the people you trampled on your climb to individual fame and fortune? If the latter, will it be worth it?

Here is a sobering thought for you: 99% of people reading this will be virtually forgotten for their individual achievements, 5 years after they are gone. What you are more likely to be remembered for is how you mentored others, how you served organizations and how you helped others become more than they would have been without you.

The best test, and the most difficult to administer, is this: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? – Robert K. Greenleaf

Make Yourself Happy on Your Deathbed

What will make you happiest on your deathbed? Will it be:

• That your name was once on a magazine cover?
• That you achieved a series of impressive sounding titles?
• That you made more money than your competition?

Or, will you be happier:

• That you helped mentor others to become better themselves?
• That you built an organization focused on serving a community?
• That you supported sustainable solutions that will provide income and resources for the future?

There will be a few individuals who, sadly, prefer the former group. While I feel sorry for them, this site and post is not for narcissistic and toxic leaders. That form of leadership is too easy to practice and achieve short-term results through. For the rest of us – those that want to be remembered for serving others – find the greatest happiness through servant leadership.

It’s Not Too Late – Go Serve!

Even if you chose “B” above and believe you would sad and full of regret, there is good news. If you are reading this, it’s not too late. Change your leadership practices and focus on servant leadership principles. Find someone to mentor, shift your focus to serve others first and serve all your stakeholders. If you’re not sure where to start, check out the Servant Leadership Manifesto and follow the call to action at the end.

Question: No need to answer this one publicly, but what will you think of your leadership as you reflect from your deathbed?

That’s right, my last post was about how much meetings suck (costs). So why am I writing about great meetings now? Because meetings are still necessary and can be a great use of time, for the right purpose and with the right structure. For all we complain about them, meetings still serve many purposes. There are the obvious benefits:

Obvious Meeting Benefits

1. Alignment: Rather than spending countless hours reading through email chains and clarifying meaning, meetings are often the most effective means to ensure alignment.

2. Brainstorming: When a solution is not readily available or you need innovative concepts, a brainstorming meeting may be just what the doctor ordered.

3. Education: When the education of individuals is necessary, meetings are often the best solution. This is not the same as a class, but more targeted – such as when educating a group on current financial challenges.

In addition, there are some less obvious benefits for meetings:

Hidden Meeting Benefits

1. Socializing: One of the most common complaints of meetings is unnecessary banter that wastes everyone’s time. I agree. However, the brief socializing before or after the defined meeting time can be an important factor in team building and employee engagement.

2. Awareness: Issues that are not formally relayed in written communications have a tendency be uncovered during meetings. The back-and-forth dialogue may create awareness to risks and issues otherwise not defined.

3. Development: Professional development often occurs in meetings. As individuals are challenged to speak up to their peers and even superiors, team members develop communication skills, character and quick thinking.

So, if meetings suck a lot of money and time, how can you make your meetings great? The key is awareness of the issues that typically suck money, time and morale: wasted time, unnecessary travel, excessive reporting and so on. Then, do your best to avoid these issues.

Tips for a Great Meeting

1. Keep it Short Stupid: A variation on Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS) – Keep It Short! Calendar software often defaults to 30 minutes or an hour. Don’t just take the default – consider how much time the discussion should take, then only request the necessary time. I love 15 minute meetings.

2. Agenda: Common sense is not so common. Those that lack it often lack agendas too. Meetings should include a list of items to enable others to prepare and set expectations. These do not have to be lengthy or detailed – a brief list of topics goes a long way in preparation and alignment.

3. Accountability: Ensure accountability and expectations. I do this by capturing action items in bold in meeting notes, along with the accountable person. For example: AI: Write post for the benefits and importance of meetings (BEN).

4. Go Virtual: Studies suggest productivity is reduced by as much as 40% when switching between activities. If the meeting is short, why add 15 to 30 minutes onto it by making attendees lock their PC, walk (or worse, drive) to the meeting room, wait for others to attend and then reset themselves when they get back? Try a teleconference and / or web session instead.

5. Standing Room Only: I love this idea – insist on your attendees standing throughout the meeting – especially on routine check-ins. I admit, I rarely make others stand. However, I do find that standing myself – especially on conference calls, keeps my own focus on brevity and helps me drive the meeting to conclusion quickly.

Question: What other advice do you have for great meetings?

“We’re going to continue meeting 3 times a day until we figure out why costs are rising!”

I’ve sat through nearly 10,000 meetings in my career. Wow. Ten thousand meetings. I came to this calculation by estimating 15 meetings a week, multiplied by approximately 47 working weeks a year, every year of my career. Think of how much money was spent across those meetings!

The Hidden Costs of Meetings

When it comes to aspects of business that suck, there are few vacuums larger than meetings. It is simply too easy to call a meeting without realizing the real costs of that meeting. Fore example, have you considered the average cost per hour of each person in the meeting? What about the costs for anyone traveling to attend that meeting? These costs are multiplied when such meetings become frequent or recurring.

Costs to Consider

In order to assess the real cost of a meeting, you need to consider the following items:

1. Duration: How long is the meeting?

2. Number of Attendees: How many people will be in the meeting?

3. Hourly Rates: What is the (estimated) hourly rate of each attendee?

4. Travel Costs: Is there airfare, auto rentals, hotel or other associated costs for the meeting?

5. Food: Is the meeting over a meal?

Meeting Cost Estimator Tool

Throughout those 10,000 meetings, I can honestly say that many were necessary. Yet, there were also many unnecessary meetings. In fact, many meetings could have been avoided if the organizer (myself included) considered the hidden costs. Therefore, to help me recognize the hidden costs of each meeting, I created a simple tool. This spreadsheet enables anyone to quickly and easily estimate the costs of a meeting. I’m sharing the tool here with you and included a bonus sheet to estimate the total number of meetings you attended. All you need do is populate the details listed above in the spreadsheet and it calculates the overall cost of the meeting.

Meeting Costs Estimation Tool: Excel 2007+
Meeting Costs Estimation Tool: Excel 97 – 2003

Question: Do you find it easier to avoid unnecessary meetings when the true costs are revealed?

In the game of poker, a “tell” is when a player gives away their feelings or emotion about the cards they hold. Typically this is done subconsciously, but if done consistently, may be used against them by other players. For example, if one player leans backward every time they get a bad hand, other players at the table know to raise the stakes every time that individual leans back in their chair. In leadership, you should also be careful of a tell – though hopefully for another reason.

Why a Tell is Bad for Leadership

For leaders, having a tell can result in missed opportunities, a lack of trust or other detrimental impacts to the team. For example, if the team perceives you are opposed to an idea before you hear the details, you may never hear the full explanation. In other examples, a leader perceived as revealing a tell regarding potential organizational changes or legal matters yet to be decided, could result in rampant rumors or worse.

The Blackberry Leadership Tell

I once worked for an executive who was famous for looking down at her blackberry whenever she did not like what she was hearing. It seemed everyone knew this. So, if someone had a great idea, but saw her look down at the blackberry, they would immediately drop the topic and suggest an alternative. This would often resume until the blackberry was set back on the table. I wonder how many great ideas were missed because she had to respond to an urgent email.

The Facial Expression Leadership Tell

Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly

Other common tells in leadership are the result of facial expressions. Often when providing feedback to team members, I describe the nonverbal cues they reflect that could be perceived the wrong way. Often, the individual is not even aware they are doing this. The most common is eye rolling or arm-crossing. A famous facial cue was in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada“. In this movie, Miranda Priestly, the demeaning, controlling and overly demanding executive is known for a few facial expressions that tell an entire story. As one employee explains to another, the scale of Miranda’s facial expressions:

Nigel: There’s a scale. One nod is good, two nods is very good. There’s only been one actual smile on record and that was Tom Ford in 2001. If she doesn’t like it she shakes her head. Then of course there’s the pursing of the lips.
Andy Sachs: Which means?
Nigel: Catastrophe.

How To Determine If You Have a Tell

In contrast to the examples I gave above, most tells are subconscious. Therefore, you will need to enroll the help of a friend or trusted adviser. Ideally, this is not a direct report but is someone at you primary job. Alternatively, you could ask someone from other areas, such as meetings at church, a board you sit on or in a professional development group such as Toastmasters. Ask them to watch you closely and let you know if:

1. Bad News: You respond in the same manner when you receive bad news. For example, do you consistently frown, tighten your muscles, lean forward or back?

2. Good News: You respond in a similar way each time you hear something good. For example, do you smile, lean in or relax your muscles? These are more common and more of a concern when your perception of something as good is actually a negative – such as if a deal fell through you did not support.

3. Perceptions: Possibly most important, do you have a reputation for any tells? In the two examples above, both executives tells were well known and watched for closely. Does the team speak in a similar manner of you?

Having a tell is not terrible. However, it could become an issue in specific scenarios. The key is to be aware of your own leadership tell and watch out for it. Once you know if you have one, you can be careful to control it in sensitive situations.

Questions: Do you have a tell? Do you know a leader that does? How has it helped or hurt the team as a result?

Meet Nancy. Nancy is a very busy intellectual property (IP) lawyer by day. Her passion though, is defending the poor. So Nancy started a blog where she writes legal advice for under served segments. However, her day job, combined with expert witness request,s her church work and family all leave her little time to focus on the blog and her tribe.

After months of struggling to keep her blog updated regularly, Nancy is at the end of her rope. Every time she sits to write a post, a hundred distractions arise. She feels the quality of her posts slipping and is afraid of losing her tribe. She does not want to give up the site, but what is she to do? She needs to try the Pomodoro Technique.

What Is The Pomodoro Technique?

The Pomodoro Technique is a tool that boxes your time into four periods of intense focus, for 25 minutes, each. Each of these “pomodoros” is then followed by a 5 minute break. After the fourth period, you take a longer break of about 20 minutes.

You begin the day by laying out your tasks and allocating them by Pomodoro. If an effort is expected to require more than one Pomodoro, you simply allocate the necessary number of periods. Then, you use a timer of some form to track each time period and keep your focus dedicated.

How The Pomodoro Technique Improves Focus

Adapted from the objectives identified by Francesco Cirillo in his book, “The Pomodoro Technique” (available for free at the link here and below):

1. Define Effort: Helps you understand how much time it really takes to complete each task.

2. Reduces Interruptions: By focusing your time into small blocks, it is easier to concentrate on one item at a time.

In addition, I find the following benefits:

3. Race to Complete: As each pomodoro winds down, I am motivated to complete the task before the period ends.

4. Delay Interruptions: I know there’s always a 5 minute break coming up. Therefore, I find it easier to postpone common distractions.

Focus Booster – Free Application for Pomodoro Practitioners

If you are like me, just reading about a great technique like this is not enough to make you try it. However, you may find this simple but effective tool is just the trick. Here’s what this free pomodoro timer application does for me:

1. Enables me to use the Pomodoro Technique wherever I go: While any timer will work, my laptop goes almost everywhere with me – certainly when I plan to work on details for the office or my blog.

2. Provides visual and audio clues: The timer bar extends and changes colors as more time elapses. Therefore, you are alerted as you get close to the end of each pomodoro. There is also an option to have an audible “ticking” sound. I find this keeps my subconscious on the task at hand.

3. It Looks Cool: How cool can a timer be, really? I agree. But at least it’s as cool as possible. This also makes it a bit of a discussion piece. Because I am a proponent of the tool and technique, it gives me a chance to explain these tools to co-workers.

Free Resources

Free Book: The Pomodoro Technique, by Francesco Cirillo

Free Cheat Sheet: The Pomodoro Cheat Sheet on Scribd

Free Application: Focus Booster

It is important to know that I do not cover all aspects of the Pomodoro technique here. Instead, I emphasize only the portions that I use myself and suggest for other leaders. More on the Pomodoro Technique and it’s practices can be found at the Pomodoro Technique website.

Question: What techniques do you use to maintain your focus? Have you tried the Pomodoro Technique and does it help you?

Just what you need – another formality, process or roadblock, right? Wrong! Used in the right manner, a decision document can be informal, help you break through processes and speed up your initiative. So what exactly is a decision document and when and how do you use one to your advantage? Hold on to your britches, we will go through an executive overview of this tool and I’ll provide a template for you at the end.

What is a Decision Document?

A decision document is a tool for capturing the status of a current program, project, initiative or other investment which has come to a fork in the road. Now, an important decision must be made and the team of decision makers needs to be aligned on what options exist, make a selection, document why the option was chosen and by whom, for future reference. Used properly, it is not a CYA solution but a tool for providing clarity, expediting alignment and removing barriers to success. A decision document…

• Aligns key stake holders on current status, a particular issue or challenge and options to consider
• Explains each option, the relevant benefits and risks
• Documents which decision is made, by whom and when
• Provides a record of accountability and drives support by decision makers

When Should a Decision Document Be Used?

There are many scenarios in which a decision document may be useful. Some examples include when the decision to be made is not clear to those who must make the decision. For example, if the project is very detailed or technical in nature but the investment decision goes to a very senior level of leadership not familiar with those details. Another scenario may be in a fast-paced project where the leadership have little time to dig into the details. Furthermore, highly regulated or sensitive environments such as food and drug industries or security matters may benefit from regular use of this tool. Of course, these documents can be useful in highly political or confrontational environments to ensure support and alignment is maintained throughout as well.

What are the Primary Components of a Decision Document?

Each decision document may have its own terminology. However, in essence each document should include the following primary sections:

1. Decision to be Made

In this section, describe the decision that must be made. This should be very clearly stated, but succinct. This is an executive brief of what recipients of the document are being asked to decide.

2. Current Status

This section must include the who, what, when and where of the situation requiring a decision. You should also provide the history of how you came to the issue at hand. While your decision-makers need to understand the background, this requires a careful balance of providing enough history without going into exhaustive and unnecessary details. A good litmus test for content to be included here is to simply ask yourself, “is this information relevant to the decision?” In other words, would knowing the piece of history or current status detail influence the decision maker one way or another? If the answer is yes, then it is relevant enough to be included.

3. Options

Be sure to capture all relevant decisions, with an emphasis on the relevant part. This section is not to list every possible variation anyone could ever dream up. Instead, list genuine options that the decision makers could consider selecting. Depending upon the nature of your particular environment, you may want to include a section of “excluded options”. In this case, you would briefly list options that were quickly ruled out and a short statement of explanation.

For each option, explain the option in detail first. Then, in bullet or similar quick-reference fashion, highlight the positives and negatives (I prefer the position of “Benefits” and “Risks”) of each option.

4. Recommendation

This is the recommendation of the team or individual submitting the decision document for consideration. It should include a reference back to the specific option being recommended (Option #1, 2 or 3…). In addition, the reasoning for this recommendation should be captured. For example, you should explain why the recommended option is better than others. Logic such as lowest overall risk or cost are obvious reasons. Others may include a balance of risk and costs or time sensitivity.

5. Decision

Here, you document the decision the team agreed to. If you’ve done your legwork prior to submission, you may anticipate the chosen option. In this case, you may want to document the chosen option (anticipated) when presenting the document for signatures / approvals.

6. Next Steps

Based on the decision being made, what actions must happen next? This may not be required in all cases, but it is often helpful in ensuring the right actions happen in a timely manner. In addition, key decisions that require documentation like this often stem from a problem and include lessons learned or opportunities to avoid a recurrence. This section may also be useful for capturing this information.

7. Sign Off

If deemed necessary, here the decision-makers physically sign the document. Most of the time though, a simple email confirming approval and alignment is sufficient form the individuals.

Decision Document Example Templates

Below is a sample template of a decision document following the above format. I’ve provided it in Microsoft Word 2003, 2007 and Adobe Acrobat formats:

• Word 2003 (and earlier)
• Word 2007+
• Adobe Acrobat

Question: Have you ever used a decision document? How did it help you and / or your team?

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” – Max DePree

Max DePree: Former CEO of Herman Miller and Author of Leadership is an Art, Leadership Jazz and Leading Without Power

This quote, from Max DePree is among my favorite servant leadership quotes. This frames 3 roles every leader must fulfill: the roles of Realist, Praiser and Servant. In fact, I have this quote in my email signature at the office, so it may serve as a constant reminder to me and my colleagues, of these three critical roles. Here’s why:

Realist

Every leader should be a realist. Yes, to lead effectively, optimism is needed at times and you need to have Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals (BHAGs). You will also need to display vision. However, if a leader is not realistic, the followers may lose faith in them, their goals will become unobtainable and ultimately, that leader could set the organization up for failure. Instead, by being a realist, one can still display great vision, foresee opportunity and even set those BHAGs.

Examples of realities that are critical for leaders to understand include the operating norms of their industry, the capabilities of their organization and the financial standing of a company’s assets. Understanding of these realities and others does not inhibit, but in fact, empowers a leader to drive the greatest results. It’s not that the leader must always conform to realities, but they must understand the current environment in which they and their team must operate.

Praiser

A leader must thank their constituents. Anyone that supports a leader and their mission needs affirmation of that fact. This is especially true during difficult times and turnaround situations where fiscal means of recognition and awards are less common. While people may not do the work simply because they want to be praised, individuals working hard enough, long enough, without such praise, will soon work elsewhere.

Servant

I do love this quote, but if I were to make any modification to it, it would be to simply say, “Throughout, the leader is a servant” rather than in between. This may be splitting hairs. However, this would emphasize that a leader is, at all times, a servant to their stakeholders. I believe this was Max’s intention as well. A leader serves the constituents by being a realist, praising their efforts and by helping them and their community achieve more. A real leader is one who wants to serve others and realizes that the best way for them to be of service is through their leadership (Greenleaf paraphrased).

The next time someone asks you what roles a leader must play, keep this mind. I am sure you have some others to add as well and I encourage you to do so in the comments below.

Question: What other roles do you believe every leader must play? How do you fulfill these roles?

I am fortunate to be guided by some of the best and brightest minds. My mentors include a sizable list of “who’s who”. For example, counted among my mentors are Michael Hyatt, Tony Dungy, Ron Edmundson, John C. Maxwell, Max Lucado, Marcus Buckingham, Jim Collins, Patrick Lencioni, Laurie Beth Jones, Max DePree and more. The best part is they can mentor you as well. In fact, they may have already started.

I am sure you’ve figured out that I am talking about mentoring through published works. Admittedly, this relationship is one-way. Therefore, this may not be considered by many to be mentoring. Yet, when you have input from so many of the greatest leaders, there is much to be said for even this one-way relationship. Social media and modern technology provide us a wealth of opportunities to learn from the leading experts in our fields and leadership development. Here are some tips for establishing and maintaining your own core of virtual mentors:

1.       Blogs: Subscriptions to blogs are an excellent way to receive regular updates, insights and ideas. These regular updates often include advice on current events and trending topics. Some of my favorite leadership blogs include:

• Michael Hyatt
• Ron Edmundson
• Seth Godin

2.       Networks: Using LinkedIn, Ning, even Facebook and other, more socially-focused networks is a great way of connecting with like-minded individuals in the same, or similar, fields and industries. Some of my favorite virtual networks include:

• LinkedIn (especially the Servant Leadership Group)
• Ning’s Servant Leadership Site

3.       Books: Naturally, reading books by thought leaders in your chosen field are a great source of information and guidance. There are too many favorites for me to list here.

4.       Audio: Generally speaking, I purchase the matching audio version of any book I like. This enables me to “freshen up”  up on some of my favorite content, This is particularly useful given a long commute and / or when something comes up and I remember, “that one author had a great point on this… let me find that again.” Alternatively, podcasts and many other audio formats are excellent for those who travel or during exercise.

5.       Search: Of course, there will be occasions when something comes up and you do not recall a reference to the challenge from your existing team of virtual mentors. When that happens, it may be time to expand your board of virtual advisors. Start with an online search and you may find an advisor focused on that particular niche.

So why aren’t you being mentored by these or other leading experts? Perhaps you are now – great! If not, I strongly encourage you and your teams to pick up some of these tips and start receiving advice and mentoring from the best in the field. It may be one-way, but in the end, one-way mentoring from the best and brightest is better than no mentoring from them at all.

Question: Do you have one or more virtual mentors? Who do you get your guidance and advice from and how?

In the past week, my wife and I had two expensive auto repair bills. One was for our Mercury Cougar and the other for our Nissan Murano – both with about the same mileage. One vehicle had a broken sunroof gear and the other a broken seat adjustment gear. Both problems turned out to be well documented (see the Cougar sunroof site and Murano seat problems) and the result of a similar root cause. It seems both manufacturers, in an attempt to minimize costs, used plastic gears that were inadequate to support the weight over time. The engineers sacrificed quality for price.

The net result of these decisions by both auto-manufacturers was a cheaper sticker tag, with longer-term costs to their customers. In fact, in the case of the Nissan Murano, it’s been argued they even put their customer’s safety at risk. Up front, the manufacturer increases sales. Over time, they lose customers for the lack of their support and ability to deliver a quality product. However, can we truly place the blame solely on the manufacturers? Is blaming the manufacturer a bit like blaming only the “other person” in an extra-marital affair? It seems to me, we have a love affair with poor quality.

Our society increasingly demands cheaper purchase prices without considering the implications to quality, longevity or safety. Don’t get me wrong, I still hold the manufacturer accountable – especially when safety is compromised for sales, as Nissan seems to have done in this case. Furthermore, consumers should expect price reductions over time as systems, technology and processes improve. However, before we blame poor quality all on the manufacturers, consider your last big purchase – was the decision made based primarily on price or quality?

As a leader in your organization, consider where you invest your money. Whether you buy a product for your employees to use or develop one for your customers, quality should be a chief concern – inclusive of safety. For example, what is the safety record of the manufacturer or supplier? Do they seem to have sacrificed quality for price and revenue? One-time ratings of individual products help, but may not reflect the long-term perspective. Examine the performance of your partners, vendors and service-providers, over time, for the best perspective. And, whatever you do, do not fall for the tempting love affair of poor quality.

Question: How do you ensure the quality of the products for your team? Are you willing to pay a bit more for higher quality, either in your professional or personal life?

Admit it, you’ve done this too – sat through a meeting, spending most of the time reading email and typing responses.  You thought, “just one more message, then I can focus on this meeting”.  But as you’re typing, you suddenly hear your name or a keyword that peaks your interest.  You look up and either jump in with a completely irrelevant comment or have to ask clarification on what’s happening.

This is often a bigger problem than we recognize, especially if you’re the boss in the room.  Regardless of the appropriateness of your response, the team may not always question your decisions or guidance (symptoms of a bigger problem, but that’s another post).  Worse, they may assume you know something they do not and receive your comments as marching orders.  In contrast, the best leaders ensure the success of their team and their own careers, by being present in the moment.  Below are some important reasons that great leaders, as servants in the organization, must ensure team meetings have their full focus:

1. Ensure Clarity

If you’re not hearing all the concerns, you may easily miss the most important point.  For example, you may think the greatest problem faced by the team is a shortage of staff to complete on time.  Therefore, when you peak up from the Blackberry after a comment about a particular person’s time constraints, you assure the team you will adjust the necessary priorities to get all the resources they need.

What you missed was that the Project Manager just said, prior to you’re full attention, that the budget was going to be overrun by about 50% to hit the launch date.  In addition, there was one person whose time was too tight.  However, after you clarified you would adjust priorities to get the PM the resources she needs, she’s off and spending to acquire the staffing necessary to hit launch date.

2. Be Empathetic

Employees and followers want leaders that truly understand their challenges.  The casual fly by to say hello and exclaim you know “just how hard everyone’s working” is not empathy.  In contrast, the manager that listens into the specifics of meetings and can recite case-after-case of specific challenges their employees are facing while caring – that is empathy.

The leader that serves their organization can sit in a meeting and challenge the team member that sheepishly agrees to accepting a new task.  The empathizing leader recognizes that this person is pressured into accepting responsibility, but also knows their bandwidth is too tight to be successful. Such a serving leader may respond, “Mary, I saw your hours last week exceeded 70, for the third week in a row – can you really take this task on top of the Accounts Payable project you’re leading?”

3. Deliver Support

Side-comments are often made in meetings that great leaders recognize as red flags.  These moments are invitations for the leader to understand where problems may be arising. Such opportunities are not listed on the formal agenda, they’re not always tracked as risks either.  Instead, asides may be assumed known by the leader, but in reality, require the presence and thorough attention of the leader to ask the right question.

If you’re too busy reading your iPhone and miss the comment the team leader makes about “Marketing pulling all our resources”, you may not even be aware of the major risk just raised.  You’re team believes you saw the email that requested this and so believe you’re on board.

Now, I’m no fool and I’m no saint.  There remain times when I feel obligated to check my Blackberry during the meeting.  Production issues,vital budgeting times and similar high priority concerns may require our attention throughout the day.  However, I’ve learned to ask my team to call me on it. When I seem too distracted, I want the team to say so.  In addition, you may find it helpful to make sure they understand why you are distracted before the meeting begins and ask them to call your attention to key concerns.  Ultimately, it is important that your team meetings include not only your physical presence but your full mental attention as well.  Otherwise, your team will quickly see you as a figure head and not someone there to serve the best interests of the team and the company.

Question: What tips do you have for ensuring your team has your full focus, especially in meetings?

You know the feeling – that frustration when you can not convince a particular “blocker” to get on board. I’d been going back and forth in my head for weeks, trying to figure out how to get a message through to a particular blocker, so they would support the initiative. “Everyone else got it, why didn’t he?!” kept racing through my thoughts. Then it occurred to me: the problem was not his, it was mine. I had not been focused on serving them, but on my need to move the project forward.

The frustration was my big, red flag. I stopped to try and understand why I was frustrated. Was it really because they would not budge or was it because I was unable to move them? The latter was true. Was I frustrated because we could not meet the needs of the  broader organization or because he was blocking my ability to attain a personal goal? Again, the latter was true. As I dug through my frustration, it was clear I had not approached the problem from a perspective of serving.

To clarify, here are a couple definitions for frustration:

• “the feeling that accompanies an experience of being thwarted in attaining your goals” (wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn; 2010.06.26, emphasis added)
• “Frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be. …” (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frustration; 2010.06.26, emphasis added)

As the emphasis highlights, frustration is a sign that you may be focused on yourself and not the needs of others. Therefore, as a leader in you organization, frustration should be a warning sign to you as well. When you feel frustrated, remember your calling as a leader to serve those you lead, first.

After recognizing the source of my frustration, here’s how I altered my own approach and suggest those in similar circumstances consider:

1. Return to Listening: What is the source of the problem causing your frustration? In this case, I needed to meet with this person and commit myself to only listening to their concerns. I could not present any alternatives, contradictions or disagreements in this meeting – just listen. Your situation may be broader than a single individual, listen all the same.

2. Find the Gap: What was the gap you identified after listening, that created the frustration? In my case, the objector had a need that could not be met, immediately, by the proposed solution. In your case, there may be more than one gap, define them. I found actually writing out the gaps helped clarify the picture.

3. Meet the Need: In your role as a servant to those you lead, you must meet their needs. If you’ve listened effectively and identified the gap(s), you can meet the need. In my case, it was a simple matter of timing. Over time, we could meet the needs of the objector. Therefore, we made a plan that provided objective traceability on our progress to that need. Define your own way to meet the need of the gap(s).

Now, I am a realist and understand this will not resolve every source of your frustrations. These simple 3 steps will not create world peace or cure cancer. However, it is important for servant leaders to recognize frustration as a warning sign of poor priorities. The next time you are frustrated with a situation, ask yourself “am I focused on serving this person, organization or situation?”

Question: Is there something frustrating you now that you may need to change your priorities on?

Benefits to Attending Leadership Conferences

I’m about to attend the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast, presented by John C. Maxwell and Giant Impact. The event is only one day, but the great lineup of speakers and topics has me anxiously awaiting it. As I reflected on this, a thought occurred to me: most of these great speakers have published plenty of material and lessons, so why do I find it important to attend leadership conferences at all?  I came up with the following short list. Perhaps it will help you convince your boss the next time this event, or a similar opportunity comes around.

1. Education: The obvious. As a leader in the organization, you must continuously develop your leadership skills. Conferences are among the best ways to do this.

2. Networking: Whether you’re an extrovert or not, be sure to reach out to co-participants. Those in attendance are like-minded, particularly if the conference focuses on a particular theme, like Greenleaf’s Servant Leadership conference and you may find them excellent references for bouncing new ideas.

3. Focus: You could spend weeks, even months reading books in small snippets, but you can’t always focus consistently and key topics are often lost in translation. In contrast, by attending all day events and longer conferences, you are able to absorb the information continuously. From my experience, this results in greater retention of the information.

4. Setting an Example: As a leader in your organization, you need to set the example by honing your skills and leadership capabilities. As your team and peers see you make the commitment to be out of the office for these experiences, you lead by example and set expectations for them to follow.

So the next time you contemplate whether you can afford the time away from the office, consider these benefits and more, then commit yourself to, as the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast says, “Be The One”. If you seek suggestions for leadership events, definitely check out the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast and Greenleaf’s Annual conference.

Question: Why do you attend leadership development events?

Ask the Right Questions at the Right Time

Great leaders ask the right questions at the right time. While great leaders are better at this than others, there is no magic to asking the right questions. By focusing on serving the organization, one can position themselves to identify the right questions at the right time. Below are some tactics that may help you serve the organization and ask the right questions:

1. Active Listening
It all begins with listening first. The meeting multitasker often misses key concepts and asks the dumb question. The person that actively listens, repeating back what they hear to ensure comprehension, is best positioned to ask the right questions.

2. Speak Your Mind
If you have a burning question and you’ve been actively listening, it’s likely others have the same question. Whether you’re right, wrong or simply asking for clarity, you are where you are for a reason and the team is counting on you to speak your mind.

3. Timely
Asking the right question at the wrong time is useless. If you have a concern or issue to raise, be timely in raising it. Waiting for the perfect moment or every detail to evolve may be too late.

4. Owner
When in doubt, ask yourself, “if I was the sole proprietor of this organization, how would I respond to this investment / topic?” Would you be happy about it? Or would it keep you up at night worrying about an adequate Return On Investment?

5. Independent
Remember all those great questions and ideas you had when you first joined the organization? Go back to that time and clear your head of all the methods in which you’ve “conformed” to your organization’s way of doing things. What would you challenge? Challenge them now.

6. Customer
If you were the customer or end consumer, what would you think of the project or matter at hand? Would it excite you or make you take your business elsewhere?

Of course, I need ways to remember tactics like these. So, if you’re like me, the next time you’re in a meeting and trying to find the right questions, just remember: A STOIC (Active listening, Speak your mind, Timely, Owner, Independent & Customer) individual remains calm and asks those great questions.

Question: When did the right question at the right time, save you, your project or your team from making a big mistake?

Crashing Into a Ditch Teaches A (Leadership) Lesson

At 7:15 AM, I was already well on my way down the hour-long commute.  On that morning I drove “the wife’s car”, because my regular vehicle was in the shop.  It was a classic Midwest winter day, with plenty of lake effect snow, but the region was prepared for the conditions.  As such, the roads were fairly clear. Still, occasional sections looked suspiciously like ice.  As a result, I drove under the speed limit, but still passed a few people who “probably shouldn’t be on the road anyway”.

It was during one of those passes that I felt the back end start to slide out.  After several counter-steering attempts, the fishtailing continued and I realized there was no escaping it.  The car crossed from one shoulder to the other, traversing two lanes and back, before crashing into the median.  Thankfully, with the exception of my ego, there was virtually no damage.

I counted my blessings and pulled up the maps on my iPhone.  The GPS located me precisely.  I called AAA, which had me back on the road in an hour.  A quick inspection by my regular mechanic and I was still in the office by noon.

Making the best of an unfortunate situation, I realized there were several leadership lessons in this experience that were worth sharing:

1. Observe Warning Signs – Remember those people that “probably shouldn’t be on the road”?  Their caution was a warning sign.  They had experiences (or lack thereof) which caused them concern.  Don’t ignore the warning signs in your organization.  Nay sayers may not just be pessimists.

2. Manage Change – I drove a less familiar vehicle.  This should have created more caution, especially in poor weather. When have you treated a new environment in business as “the same old situation”?

3. Balance Risk / Reward - As discussed in Project Tailgaters and Brake Checkers, it’s important to understand the risks and rewards or cost / benefit of each decision.  Here, by passing other cars, I could arrive 15 minutes earlier.  I assessed the road and it seemed clear and safe, but was it worth the risk?

4. Monitor Progress - As I sat in the ditch, covered in snow, I had only a vague idea of my location and was not certain how to guide someone to me for the tow.  If your project goes awry, will you know the quickest route to recovery?

5. Have the Right Tools - Thankfully, I had the right technology tool (GPS) to support a quick recovery. Do you have the right technology to support your needs?

6. Have the Right Team - With a AAA membership, the right people were just a phone call away. I also had a trusted mechanic who fit me into his schedule quickly and provided an assessment I trusted. When you get into trouble at the office, do you have a team to do the same?

7. Learn From Mistakes - Hence this post.  If I end up in a ditch again, after sliding on ice, hopefully I can say I learned from these mistakes and it was something new, that caused the crash this time. Will you learn from mistakes at work?

Question: Now the fun part.  After looking at all the things I did wrong, what other lessons can you take away from my mistakes?  Go easy on my ego though, please.  I’m already doomed to months of jokes at the office for my failure to stay on the road.

What are your Leadership New Year's Resolutions?

Thinking about your New Year’s resolutions?  Here’s a quick list of ideas for leaders.  The list includes a few of the standards, but aims to inspire some new ideas for each of us:

1. Physical Fitness - Whether it’s weight loss, increased exercise or dropping a bad habit, this standard is important for leaders to maintain stress levels.  You may also find increased productivity.
2. Listen More – Find yourself speaking more than you listen?  Did your latest 360 feedback suggest the team may not feel their input is valued enough?  Commit to listening a greater percentage of the time.
3. Succession Planning - Too many leaders let real succession planning wait too long, if they do it at all.  Why not start the new year right with specific steps to ensure strong succession planning throughout the organization?
4. Development Planning – Does everyone reporting to you have a strong, specific and measurable professional development plan?  If you’re not growing the organization, who is?  Perhaps this is the year to really tackle the matter.
5. Multi-Channel Communication - Often, as leaders, we forget that people benefit from different mediums of communication.  Perhaps this year is a good time to ensure your messages are spoken, written and broadcast.
6. Open Door Policy - Were you “too busy” to maintain that open door policy last year?  Try opening it again.  If not all day every day, perhaps hold open door office hours and stick to them this year.
7. Responsiveness – Is your inbox volume out of control?  Haven’t cleared that voicemail in a long time?  Try setting aside an hour a week or a daily block to review and respond to your messages regularly.
8. Strengthen Relationships - How well do you really know your coworkers?  We want to help those we care for and support.  This year, maybe we need to make more time to understand colleagues and building relationships.
9. Emphasize Credit – (and Minimize blame).  It’s too easy to give blame out as “accountability”.  This year, maybe we need to ensure for each accountability message, we provide at least 10 praise / credit messages.
10. Serve More - Of course, I had to suggest this one.  This year, why not commit to asking yourself regularly, “how will this decision / action / message serve the organization better?”

Question: What are your New Year’s Resolutions?