Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip. – Richard Steele

Gossip is toxic fuel to a bad corporate culture. I was reminded of this last week when a subscriber asked for tips on dealing with gossip. She writes:

I feel surrounded by “toxic” co-workers that…  like to talk bad about all other leaders. Hearing them involved in all the office gossip and trash talking with their assumptions about these people make me nervous… I feel as though they will trash talk me…. How do I deflect and stay focused?

Gossip is defined as ”Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.” So not all gossip is bad. The problem is that most gossip consists of unflattering rumors. Unflattering and unsubstantiated rumors are the gossip that will  kill your culture.

Help the Gossip Target

Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed. – Erica Jong

Most gossip has some aspect of truth to it. If not truth, then perception. As many say, perception is reality until dis-proven. Therefore, you have an opportunity to serve the organization by dispelling the gossip through support of the targeted individuals.

1. Encourage Consistent & Transparent Communication

When someone is targeted by gossip, there is a good chance the rumors circulate around false motives. Encourages targets of gossip to produce more communication with an emphasis on transparency.

2. Highlight Areas Lacking Support

Without revealing names or specific gossip, let the leader know general areas within which they should build more support.

3. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

It may seem cliche, but if you were the target of gossip, what would you want to know?

By no means should you become a “tattle tail”. However, some careful communications and support of your leadership can help squash bad gossip and improve your culture.

Help the Gossiper

Gossipers often seek attention. Don’t give attention for gossip and you will soon find less gossip in your office. That said, here are some tips to help others break this bad habit:

1. Do Not Act Judgmental

Be careful not to alienate the gossiper by seeming self-righteous. After all, we have our own weaknesses and likely engage in our own gossip on occasions. Therefore, when asked, ”What did you hear?” or otherwise encouraged to gossip yourself, consider responses such as:

“Nothing I can confirm.”

“I’m waiting for them to give an update on that issue.”

2. Stick to the Facts…

The best way to counter gossip, is with facts. You could even have an interest in the notion of the gossip, but respond with, “I’d love to know the facts behind that… have you seen any data on the topic yet?”

3. Change the Topic

When all else fails and you are not comfortable confronting the gossiper head on, defer by changing the topic.

Gossip can be very destructive. Allowed to run unchecked, it will hurt your culture, waste resources and damage leadership credibility. With some careful resistance to gossipers and support of leadership, you can reinforce a more positive culture.

Question: How do you deal with gossip at your office?

Storms that may seem destructive, often bring positive results. A leadership storm can have the same impact. A good leader that enters a bad situation (drought), needs to make tough decisions (storm), but the positive results are undeniable (growth).

The Drought

Preceding storming leadership is often a drought. This drought is a time of difficult challenges and may include any of the following symptoms:

1. Poor Leadership: Many organizations are rife with selfish leaders. Over time, this results in a drought of leadership and depreciates our greatest asset: the people.

2. Financial Crisis: Our global economy has declined, consistently, for several years placing many organizations in a financial crisis.

3. Tunnel Vision: Many corporations, especially the public sector, focus exclusively on investors. The result drains consumer, employee and the community value.

The Storm

As a result of a drought, sometimes a storm is needed to replenish nutrients in the organization. Like physical storms, leadership storms have similar symptoms:

1. Discomfort: Lighting storms can be frightening. After years of doing things one way, the organization may need to make a drastic change.

2. Cleansing Effect: You may not have taken out the trash in your organizational leadership for a long time. After a good storm, what was grimy shines better.

3. Nourishment: After a good storm, crops are replenished with water and nutrients. Leadership storms nourish the organization by feeding the needs of depleted departments.

4. Replenished Reservoirs: Droughts deplete reservoirs. Similarly, toxic leaders drain the reserves of organizations – stealing from tomorrow to make today look good. A leadership storm rebuilds those reservoirs.

The Growth

In order for a leadership storm to succeed, a delicate balance must be struck: it must be strong, but not so strong it damages the crops. It must be long enough to allow the ground to absorb the water but not so long it drowns the field. Here are some tips for ensuring there is growth after the storm.

1. Communicate the Need – If you’re not a farmer, you may not understand what is at risk during a drought until it is too late. Similarly, leaders must ensure those effected by the storm understand the need before it is too late.

2. Plan Comprehensively - People who face a lot of storms know how critical proper preparation is. Leaders must do the same. Planning the start, finish and anticipated results is crucial.

3. Be Transparent - Ensure the team knows what to expect and when you expect it. Storms don’t last forever and there are often signs that the end is nearing. Likewise, tell your people what to expect and when you think the storm will pass.

4. Minimize Damage - Winds too strong, destroy crops. Likewise, leadership cuts must not be too deep. Leaders must be careful not to eliminate too many resources or too much innovation.

5. Celebrate Completion – After the storm comes the rainbow. Similarly, you must celebrate with the team. Tell them how grateful you are for their support. Recap the damage, but also realized benefits and the defined end of the storm.

Destructive forces are never pleasant. However, if your organization needs a storm, ensure you design and deliver the storm as effectively and efficiently as possible. If you sense an oncoming storm, consider these tips to minimize the damage and maximize your results.

Question: How else can storms at the office be successful?

That’s right, my last post was about how much meetings suck (costs). So why am I writing about great meetings now? Because meetings are still necessary and can be a great use of time, for the right purpose and with the right structure. For all we complain about them, meetings still serve many purposes. There are the obvious benefits:

Obvious Meeting Benefits

1. Alignment: Rather than spending countless hours reading through email chains and clarifying meaning, meetings are often the most effective means to ensure alignment.

2. Brainstorming: When a solution is not readily available or you need innovative concepts, a brainstorming meeting may be just what the doctor ordered.

3. Education: When the education of individuals is necessary, meetings are often the best solution. This is not the same as a class, but more targeted – such as when educating a group on current financial challenges.

In addition, there are some less obvious benefits for meetings:

Hidden Meeting Benefits

1. Socializing: One of the most common complaints of meetings is unnecessary banter that wastes everyone’s time. I agree. However, the brief socializing before or after the defined meeting time can be an important factor in team building and employee engagement.

2. Awareness: Issues that are not formally relayed in written communications have a tendency be uncovered during meetings. The back-and-forth dialogue may create awareness to risks and issues otherwise not defined.

3. Development: Professional development often occurs in meetings. As individuals are challenged to speak up to their peers and even superiors, team members develop communication skills, character and quick thinking.

So, if meetings suck a lot of money and time, how can you make your meetings great? The key is awareness of the issues that typically suck money, time and morale: wasted time, unnecessary travel, excessive reporting and so on. Then, do your best to avoid these issues.

Tips for a Great Meeting

1. Keep it Short Stupid: A variation on Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS) – Keep It Short! Calendar software often defaults to 30 minutes or an hour. Don’t just take the default – consider how much time the discussion should take, then only request the necessary time. I love 15 minute meetings.

2. Agenda: Common sense is not so common. Those that lack it often lack agendas too. Meetings should include a list of items to enable others to prepare and set expectations. These do not have to be lengthy or detailed – a brief list of topics goes a long way in preparation and alignment.

3. Accountability: Ensure accountability and expectations. I do this by capturing action items in bold in meeting notes, along with the accountable person. For example: AI: Write post for the benefits and importance of meetings (BEN).

4. Go Virtual: Studies suggest productivity is reduced by as much as 40% when switching between activities. If the meeting is short, why add 15 to 30 minutes onto it by making attendees lock their PC, walk (or worse, drive) to the meeting room, wait for others to attend and then reset themselves when they get back? Try a teleconference and / or web session instead.

5. Standing Room Only: I love this idea – insist on your attendees standing throughout the meeting – especially on routine check-ins. I admit, I rarely make others stand. However, I do find that standing myself – especially on conference calls, keeps my own focus on brevity and helps me drive the meeting to conclusion quickly.

Question: What other advice do you have for great meetings?

“To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness.”
- Benjamin Franklin

Rock Concert or Business Conference?

The scene resembled a large rock concert. There was a massive stage, huge projection screens, a booming sound system, laser lights and special effects that would make Broadway jealous. To say there was a great deal of excitement and anticipation for the presenter would be a major understatement. His name was announced, the music boomed and onto stage strode the classic image of a powerful, confident executive. Navy suit with pin stripes, tall, slender, salt-and-peppered hair, power tie and polished shoes. The audience’s applause roared. He walked to the podium, the music faded, applause stopped and the stadium settled to perfect silence in anticipation…

Narcissism Defined

“How’s everybody doing today?!” The keynote speaker began, with excitement in his voice. “Wow, what a year it’s been!  Since last year’s conference, a lot has changed. For example, I reorganized our division and product lines into….” he continued into details of how he, apparently personally, completed some organizational and product line restructuring. Then he continued, “in addition I introduced 12 new products, including some of the hottest new items on the market, such as…” he described a number of top selling products. “And what about services? Well, I introduced the following new service lines…”. Then, he launched into series a corporate acquisitions, “I purchased….”, “I merged…”, I… I… I…

BUZZ KILL.

Within the first 5 minutes of his presentation, all the excitement turned into disbelief at the narcissism displayed by this executive. Really?! Did they really just send that massive of an ego-maniac onto the stage?! This guy specifically said he did all these things – not once did I hear him mention the contributions of another individual or his team.

If you were a member of his organization, how would you have felt? I am sure his team put in a lot of hard work and many late nights. Without these contributions, many of “his” successes would never have come to fruition. If I worked for him, I think my resume would have hit the job boards the next day.

MORALE KILL.

His Narcissism, Our Lesson

Confronted with his narcissism, the executive would likely brush it off as an oversight on his part. He would likely reassure anyone inquiring, “of course I meant the team did all this” and follow up with a commitment to be more clear in the future. But how many stadium-sized opportunities does one get? These platforms are rare. The damage was done.

I hope your narcissism does not compare. Still, if we’re not careful, our own oversight can turn into narcissism. At the very least, oversight can easily kill the morale of our own teams. So how can leaders avoid narcissism and keep their team’s morale alive? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Thank someone every day: If not one, then two, three or twenty. Always be sure you reflect your gratitude.

2. Thank publicly: Most people appreciate public recognition. Given the opportunity, share your platform.

3. Document Credit: When creating communications, especially those for distribution, credit those that contributed.

4. Accountable, not Responsible: Toxic leaders tend to confuse accountability for responsibility. Remember, just because you’re accountable does not mean you are responsible for the success.

5. Serve First: Remember your role as a leader is to serve the team first, not for the team to serve you.

Question: What other ways do you or your leaders avoid narcissism and maintain humility?

My wife and I both had to be in the office early. We’d gotten our 20 month old son ready for daycare, but were running late and feeling the pressure. Tension was thick, fuses were short and it was a poor way to start the day.

As I rushed outside in the still dark morning, a shuffling of leaves by the door made me pause. I stopped to let my eyes adjust and found myself practically within arms reach of two beautiful deer. One was bracing to sprint, but the other seemed calm and curious. Impressed by the pleasant surprise, I took in the moment. Then, backing away slowly, I loaded the car. In the small magic of that moment, my new friends reminded me to focus on what was important. Had I been “on time” I would have missed that special experience. I then realized I needed to make the time to serve my family by helping them start their day right.  I also needed to serve my colleagues by ensuring my mind was focused on the right topics and preparation for our meeting on my drive in.

I went back inside, more calm now, strolled up to wife and kissed her gently on the forehead. I then smiled at my son, tickled him a little and slowly carried him into his awaiting car seat. My deer friends had gone, but I was content. My morning was set right. I made it to the office just in time and was in the right state of mind to lead the important dialogue that morning.  Afterward, I thought to myself what a difference those few extra minutes made for my family, ultimately my colleagues and how important it was to foresee the need for a moment of pause at work as well. As a result, I compiled a few…

Signs you may need to take a “minute” and pause at work:

1. You are in a constant state of reaction, rather than planning

2. You make decisions to get them off your plate rather than to address the problem

3. You delegate without full guidance and communication of the situation to the recipient

4. You know you could do a better job, “if you only had more time”

5. You find your team questioning your decisions more than normal and you don’t understand why

We’ve all been there before.  While you won’t have the benefit of deer roaming through your office, these signs may remind you to stop and focus on what matters. You owe it to those you serve to make the time to get it right.

Question: When did you find a moment to pause at the office, or at home, helped?

Ask the Right Questions at the Right Time

Great leaders ask the right questions at the right time. While great leaders are better at this than others, there is no magic to asking the right questions. By focusing on serving the organization, one can position themselves to identify the right questions at the right time. Below are some tactics that may help you serve the organization and ask the right questions:

1. Active Listening
It all begins with listening first. The meeting multitasker often misses key concepts and asks the dumb question. The person that actively listens, repeating back what they hear to ensure comprehension, is best positioned to ask the right questions.

2. Speak Your Mind
If you have a burning question and you’ve been actively listening, it’s likely others have the same question. Whether you’re right, wrong or simply asking for clarity, you are where you are for a reason and the team is counting on you to speak your mind.

3. Timely
Asking the right question at the wrong time is useless. If you have a concern or issue to raise, be timely in raising it. Waiting for the perfect moment or every detail to evolve may be too late.

4. Owner
When in doubt, ask yourself, “if I was the sole proprietor of this organization, how would I respond to this investment / topic?” Would you be happy about it? Or would it keep you up at night worrying about an adequate Return On Investment?

5. Independent
Remember all those great questions and ideas you had when you first joined the organization? Go back to that time and clear your head of all the methods in which you’ve “conformed” to your organization’s way of doing things. What would you challenge? Challenge them now.

6. Customer
If you were the customer or end consumer, what would you think of the project or matter at hand? Would it excite you or make you take your business elsewhere?

Of course, I need ways to remember tactics like these. So, if you’re like me, the next time you’re in a meeting and trying to find the right questions, just remember: A STOIC (Active listening, Speak your mind, Timely, Owner, Independent & Customer) individual remains calm and asks those great questions.

Question: When did the right question at the right time, save you, your project or your team from making a big mistake?

What are your Leadership New Year's Resolutions?

Thinking about your New Year’s resolutions?  Here’s a quick list of ideas for leaders.  The list includes a few of the standards, but aims to inspire some new ideas for each of us:

1. Physical Fitness - Whether it’s weight loss, increased exercise or dropping a bad habit, this standard is important for leaders to maintain stress levels.  You may also find increased productivity.
2. Listen More – Find yourself speaking more than you listen?  Did your latest 360 feedback suggest the team may not feel their input is valued enough?  Commit to listening a greater percentage of the time.
3. Succession Planning - Too many leaders let real succession planning wait too long, if they do it at all.  Why not start the new year right with specific steps to ensure strong succession planning throughout the organization?
4. Development Planning – Does everyone reporting to you have a strong, specific and measurable professional development plan?  If you’re not growing the organization, who is?  Perhaps this is the year to really tackle the matter.
5. Multi-Channel Communication - Often, as leaders, we forget that people benefit from different mediums of communication.  Perhaps this year is a good time to ensure your messages are spoken, written and broadcast.
6. Open Door Policy - Were you “too busy” to maintain that open door policy last year?  Try opening it again.  If not all day every day, perhaps hold open door office hours and stick to them this year.
7. Responsiveness – Is your inbox volume out of control?  Haven’t cleared that voicemail in a long time?  Try setting aside an hour a week or a daily block to review and respond to your messages regularly.
8. Strengthen Relationships - How well do you really know your coworkers?  We want to help those we care for and support.  This year, maybe we need to make more time to understand colleagues and building relationships.
9. Emphasize Credit – (and Minimize blame).  It’s too easy to give blame out as “accountability”.  This year, maybe we need to ensure for each accountability message, we provide at least 10 praise / credit messages.
10. Serve More - Of course, I had to suggest this one.  This year, why not commit to asking yourself regularly, “how will this decision / action / message serve the organization better?”

Question: What are your New Year’s Resolutions?

Do you go home every work night feeling drained, with no energy left for your family, friends and other personal activities? While this is normal on occasion, it should not be the norm. Too many people believe the solution is work/life balance. Yet have you ever met someone that has found the perfect balance where work never comes up at home and home life never comes up at work? In contrast, many people have found the perfect work/life alignment. Work/life alignment occurs when one is equally comfortable at work and outside the office, handling both personal and professional activities in either environment. It’s amazing how much more energy and enjoyment one finds when they stop trying to balance their work and personal life and focus instead on aligning the two.

Below are 5 tips that help me achieve greater alignment:

1. Be Yourself at Work
2. Work for a Mission You Believe In
3. Prioritize Your Work
4. Find a Boss You Trust
5. Establish Friendships at Work

1. Be Yourself at Work
Are you putting on a different face when you go to work? The business term is a lack of diversity or individual acceptance. We’re not talking just about skin color, religious beliefs or personal lifestyle. Instead, we’re talking about who you are at the core. You could be in a room full of people that look like you, have similar philosophies and even follow the same interests outside of work. However, you could be miles apart in your personalities. You may be a boisterous, outgoing individual, who likes to tell it like it is. Meanwhile, your coworkers may discourage this in preference of a calm demeanor, a quiet office or a more formalized interaction. Neither approach is right or wrong, just different. One may be more appropriate than another for certain companies. Regardless, you need to find the environment where you can be yourself to be happiest. Personality tests, like the Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator can help you better identify and align your personality with others.

Howard Behar, former president of Starbucks Coffee International wrote about a similar challenge early in his career. After a big promotion, the CEO of the furniture company where he worked pulled him aside and told him how, now that he was an executive, he needed to stop wearing his heart on the sleeve so much. Behar was crushed as he tried to contain his attitude, bottling up his personality and forcing himself to act like someone he was not. He was uncomfortable and unhappy every day. In the end, Behar left that company and joined Starbucks, where he helped the company become an amazing success – all while being himself and wearing his heart on the sleeve. Two for-profit companies, one allowed him to be himself, resulting in remarkable success for both Behar and the company. The other company you’ve likely never heard of before.

2. Work for a Mission You Believe In
Where you work does not have to be an altruistic non-profit, but it needs to have a mission in which you believe. Do you work for a company that makes clothes, or a company that improves people’s lives, by providing the fashions that make them look good, feel more confident and be more comfortable? Does your company have moral and ethical standards that align with your own? Even if the company does not produce products you use or fully comprehend, it may have a mission to support non-profits, benefit the community in which it is located or otherwise provide some greater good to the world through a mission you can believe in. If it does not, how can you justify the effort you put into that company? And if you can’t reasonably justify your work for some greater good than your financial income, you’ll always feel like you’re spending too much time at the office.

Now, if you can’t find a mission at your company you believe in, must you leave that company? Perhaps, but not necessarily. First, try creating that mission. Perhaps organize the next community support event or non-profit fund raising campaign. Whatever your passion, chances are there is some way you can create a mission within or closely aligned to your company. If not, then yes, maybe it is time to find another employer with a mission that moves you.

3. Prioritize Your Work
All too often we believe that to be successful, one must do everything that is asked of them, as quickly as possible. We believe working 60 hours a week, month after month after month assures recognition and success. However, that is often not the case. How many people do you know that work ridiculous hours and ultimately achieved more senior levels? The reality is that the work horse in the room is often appreciated, but rarely promoted. The greatest leaders tend to be those that know how to prioritize. They do not say “no”, but simply, “not now”. Successful alignment means recognizing that many ideas have great merit and value, but only those with the greatest value should be prioritized against finite resources.

Look at your favorite leaders and mentors, for example. Most successful leaders are not running around in a hectic pace or seemingly under a great deal of stress to address everything possible. Instead, the leaders most people would like to emulate seem calm, cool and collected. These leaders have enough time to do what is right – what they prioritize as most important, now. These are the leaders that have their work and personal life aligned, in part, because they know how to prioritize at the office.

4. Find a Boss You Trust
When you work for someone you respect, both parties benefit. When you are encouraged by a superior and believe they want to help your career, you want to do the same for them. In such a scenario, you will find a way to achieve what your supervisor needs you to get done and often, more. The inverse is also true. When you do not trust your boss or believe they only seek their own success over the team’s, you will have little motivation. People with bad bosses find the quickest way, to the easiest solution, to provide just barely what their boss needs. Nobody’s going above and beyond for a boss they do not trust.

The book Five Dysfunctions of a Team (on the recommended reading list) explains how trust is at the heart of every team. Without trust, there will be an inattention to results, a fear of conflict, lack of commitment and an avoidance of accountability. Therefore, without trust, there will be little professional success, without success, limited professional fulfillment and your personal life suffers.

5. Establish Friendships at Work
In the last post, I mentioned the Gallup Poll that highlighted the importance of employees having friends at work. This study shows the benefits to the business, such as greater morale, higher levels of quality and strong alignment to the company’s mission (for more, see the links above). In addition to the benefits to the employer, there are strong benefits to the employees. Friends at work also provide a support network when one needs to blow off a little steam or has a personal emergency. The friend network improves an employee’s ability to feel comfortable at the office and strengthens their feeling of belonging. When a team member has friends around them, the office can shift from just work to a place where they see friends while accomplishing tasks.

Try this for yourself. If you already have friends at work, great – imagine what it would be like without them. Where would you turn to relax and how comfortable would you feel? If you do not have friends at work, try harder. You’ll be amazed how anxious some people may be to get to know you on a more personal basis. If you are really not comfortable making friends at work directly, try to at least find some manner of friendship aligned with your work, such as in a professional network.

Too many people today still try to balance separate lives. “Try” is the key word here. Like a teeter-totter, you can not stay perfectly balanced all the time. However, if you seek alignment rather than balance, you find greater, more sustainable results. When you are aligned, you are equally happy addressing personal life at the office and professional matters at home, as necessary. While there will always be a primary focus on one or the other, both will offer equal comfort, confidence and success in any environment. When this occurs, you know you have work-life alignment and not just a balancing act.